The details

Warning: May contain too much of the gory details for some.

Warning: Really long.

I won't be offended if you don't read this!

Labor Day was a good day and our 2 year anniversary! Everything was pretty normal, we went to my folks for a BBQ, then came home and started playing cards with Felisha and our friend Luke (Kyle, Lyle). During cards I started having cramps and thought "this is weird but definitely not labor pains." I went to bed feeling pretty good just slight cramping. At 2:45am I got up to pee and noticed my silly hubby was STILL up playing Xbox. I got back in bed and turned over to get comfy when all of the sudden it felt like I was wetting the bed (my water had broke). I called for Jared who must have heard the urgency in my voice because he was there in a split second! For the next hour I hung out in the shower as Jared ran around (like a chicken with his head cut off) gathering last minute things for my hospital bag, calling our moms, and checking on me. In the shower I was having contraction about every 2 minutes. I got out and decided we ought to head to the hospital because my water had broke and it's a 45 minute drive.

We arrive at the hospital at 5am and I'm only 2 cm, i figured as much. So I start walking the halls, alternate between sitting and standing, and spend some time in the big tub. My mom, mother-in-law, and Felisha were all in attendance (as well as Jared, although he was half asleep through a lot of it). With each contraction somebody was rubbing my back, reminding me to breath, or comforting me in some way. My contractions were very manageable but sporadic, sometimes 2 mins apart, sometimes 5, some very painful, and some more mild. My midwife would ask me if I wanted to be checked for any progress and I would decline because I wanted to wait as long as possible between checks so that I would have hopefully progressed more by the time she checked. Well, that strategy did NOT work! I would go hours without being checked and be the same! 4 cm and 90% effaced, 4 *plus* and 90% (by the way, the *plus* doesn't make you feel any better). So I walked on, and on, and ON! We played cards, I leaned on the bed, sat on a birthing ball.

The hours were passing in a blur as I became more and more tired and as the contractions became more and more intense. I remember at one point laying on the hospital bed and feeling like I was trapped in a hallucination or a nightmare. The pain was very strong, yet in between I was so sleepy I would nod off and be woken by pain that would take my breath away. My midwife told me she didn't want me in the tub again until I'd hit a 6 because the tub can slow things down in earlier labor. She said once at a 6 it usually goes very quickly. By this time it's sometime in the late evening, she checks me and I'm at a 7!! I declare that I am getting in the tub, my only form of relief at this point. As I'm soaking my contractions are being timed by Jared, and although they are becoming more intense they are not consistent, 5 minutes, 3 minutes, 2 minutes, 5 minutes. Even though they hurt I was trying to will the next contraction to happen so that I would progress faster but as much as I tried to make it happen it was to no avail, my body and baby had their own agenda! After 30 mins of soaking my midwife says it's time to check me again because she's sure I've made some sort of progress, which is reinforced by the fact that I throw up as I'm getting out of the tub (a normal sign of transition). I dry off, lay down, and breath deep for this "fun" cervical check. 7 cm and 90% percent thinned. Are you kidding me!? I am going to make this baby come! So off for another walk, which feels like the millionth time, and I can barely stand through each contraction. Then I'm back in the room and everyone advices me to lay down and try to rest a bit because I'm gonna need it. Then Nancie (my midwife) returns to check me again. I know I have to be at least an 8 if not more by the way the contractions are feeling. 7 and 90. Seriously? This can't be true. SERIOUSLY!??? I've been 7 and 90 for the last 3 hours!!!

Nancie tells me I can't get in the tub any more because they have to start an antibiotic on me because my water has been broken for nearly 24 hours. I will have to stay in bed and she'd like to start pitocin because I'm not progressing as I should. I'm contemplating the pitocin with no epidural, I really, REALLY wanted to go natural all the way. I turn to my group of support for advise and the decision is pretty much unanimous, get the epidural. I can tell Jared is not enjoying watching me through all this pain, my mom tells me I need rest in order to do the pushing part, and Felisha reminds me of something I had said earlier in pregnancy, that if I went more than 20 hours and I needed rest I would get it. So I relented and said, "bring on the drugs." To say I was bummed is an understatement.

I loved and hated the epidural, the relief from pain was lovely yet the not being able to move or readjust my body drove me nuts! I did "rest" but didn't sleep a wink. I had the epidural on the lowest setting and still couldn't feel my legs! After 3 hours of pitocin and epidural I was finally at a 10. I was a little shocked, I had gotten so used to progressing at a much slower pace. Nancie had me push a couple times and I had no clue what I was supposed to be doing. I asked her if we could turn the epidural off and try when I got some feeling back. She said yes and it took about an hour to get the feeling back and feel the pressure I needed to. So then the pushing really started, it took me a few contractions to get the hang of what I was supposed to be doing but once I got it I really got it and I actually kind of enjoyed the pushing but it was discouraging to hear "she's almost here" and then she still wasn't here. After an hour and a half of pushing with the epidural gone and the pitocin still flowing finally I could hear the excitement in Jared's voice and Felisha told me that she really was there and to keep pushing. My sweet girl finally made it, with the cord wrapped around her neck and maconium in her amniotic fluid but she made it safe and sound. I cried, a lot. I was so happy this girl had finally made it after 26 hours of labor and I was also happy that it was over!
My midwife and mother have assured me that next time I will be able to go natural all the way and I hope so too! The epidural is what I needed at the time and I'm grateful that there is the use of things like pitocin and epidurals but I'm also glad I could feel all the pushing, otherwise I would have been lost. I'm also extremely grateful for all the support I received, everyone said or did just what I needed at just the right time. Birth is a crazy and beautiful experience and I'm already not dreading the next time which I think is pretty good considering it's only been a week!