Recap of pics

Lately life has been a whirl wind. I'm not sure exactly why but it has just been one thing after the other of busy busy busy. But we are still here and doing great! I wanted to post some pics of our little man since the only ones so far have been from the first day of his life. But basically this is our life over the last couple of  months through photos.

Zinni meeting her baby brother for the first time.

The funniest chipmunk face of Zandon (taken by Zinni).

Yes, he cries.

Zandon's baby blessing @ 5 weeks old.

He was blessed the same day as his cousin Adelaide.

Hangin' out with Kyla.

We've had lots of Zoo days, petting zoo visits, and park days.

Just hangin' out.

First smile captured on camera.

Falling asleep on Papi.

Zandon's first football game.

Going on walks with my two crazy kids!

Zinni likes to give him toys:)

Our life in a nutshell. We are so blessed!

Zandon's story

A few days shy of delivery.

Zinnidee's birth story and Zandon's are like night and day. Well, actually Zinni's was like night, and day, and night, where as Zandon's was just day (halleluja!). Zinni was 6 days early, so as Zandon's due date became closer I became more anxious, and my nesting was in super overdrive.

Sunday, July 15, my due date, I was so ready to get this boy out! I had been having some pretty good contractions for a week and I had re-cleaned and organized everything on my nesting list at least twice. I was a bit of a crazy lady. The one thing I was planning on doing on this day was to make two pans of lasagna, one for dinner and one for the freezer for post delivery days, and wait for baby to make his move. Zinni went down for an early nap (at 11), she was cranky. Jared and I spent some quality time together, then I opted for a walk, no position was comfortable anymore for sitting, laying, standing. On my walk I had several contractions, this was totally normal to me by this point but something was different. My emotions and mental state of mind were all over the place. I remember thinking "if this is the start of labor I'm already spent, I don't wanna do it." I came home and just started crying to Jared about being so done with pregnancy and being so tired. I asked for a Priesthood blessing. It comforted me and somehow let my mind get back in the right state. The contractions from the walk continued and I was pretty sure it was the real deal but didn't want to get my hopes up.

Jared left for church at 1:00, Zinni was just about to wake up, and I began to pack my bag and Zinni's overnight bag. I was contracting every 5 to 7 minutes and was slowly realizing that this could be real. By 3 o'clock I was packed and put on a show for Zinni so that I could shower. The shower was lovely. When Jared got home at 4 I instructed him to change and gather anything he would want at the hospital (snacks, entertainment) he decided a pillow and blanket were the best idea, thinking back to Zinni's birth. Then I told him we were going to making lasagna (yes, my nesting was still going strong). With contractions now about 3 minutes apart I instructed Jared to chop the onions, mince the garlic, brown the meat. I then did the layering myself (am I a bit of a control freak? Maybe). By the time we sprinkled the last of the cheese on top, Jared's brother and family had arrived (we had invited them for dinner the day before) and my contractions were about 2 and 1/2 minutes and getting stronger. I retreated to the basement were it was cool and dark. My sister came and picked up Zinni and soon my mother-in-law and sister-in-law joined me. They rubbed my back and held the heating pad in place, which was wonderful. Jared was in and out, checking on me, getting last minute things, and eating dinner. My mother came and by now the contractions were 1 and 1/2 to 2 mins apart, I decided it was time to head to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital at 7:15 pm, got checked in the triage room and was declared 6 to 7 cm! I was happy to be this far along, it had taken almost 24 hours of labor with Zinni to get to this point. We moved to the labor and delivery room and by the time I got there with my Mom and SIL (Erika) Jared had prepared his "bed" for the evening. The nurses put the bands on me to monitor baby for 20 minutes, this is routine and required but I would have preferred to skip it. They also got a hep-lock needle in me just in case of an emergency. After the required 20 mins I got in the shower and let it fill the tub, which I then soaked down in. It was GLORIOUS!! I loved the tub so very much. I actually was worried that the pain wasn't that bad so I thought I wasn't progressing. In fact, throughout labor I remember thinking "yeah, that hurts but it's manageable and it'll only get harder so just deal." After being in the tub maybe 30 mins (my sense of time might be totally skewed) my midwife checked me, A NINE!!! Holy crap, are you serious?? This was easy! But wait, the hardest part is yet to come, pull it together! With the next contraction I sprung a leak in my bag of waters and this is where "easy" went to very, extremely, weirdly hard. The leak sprung and with it the intense urge to push that everyone talks about. I could not catch my breath and manage the contraction. My midwife came back in the bathroom, said "we're getting out, now" and began pulling me out, during this contraction. I wasn't sure how she expected me to move. I wouldn't, I couldn't, people are supposed to leave me alone during contractions, right? Wrong. She was in charge at this point and I'm glad she was. With her on one arm and Jared on the other they half dragged me to the bed and dried me off. I now understood why some women say "I'm going to pass out" because I sure felt like I was going to. I could not control my breathing, I was totally hyperventilating.

The urge to push was undeniable, there was no getting around it, or controlling it. I got a really long break in between this pushing contraction and Paula (my midwife) told me to slow my breathing and asked me if I remembered how to push. I told her maybe but man when the time came it wasn't really about knowing how my body just told me what to do. She told everyone that this was the time to be quiet and peaceful and to dim the lights. Jared counted to 10 for me to hold my breath and push but I was hardly aware of him or anyone. I was in my own little world and I could feel my baby's little (didn't feel so little) body coming. I think people were saying "push" but I only noticed when Paula said to stop, the cord was around his neck (just like Zinni) and I knew it. Then my mom said his shoulders are out and I thought "praise the Lord, it's almost over." They placed his warm wet little body on my chest and I was at peace. The pain had stopped and here was my little boy born at 9:39 pm! Less than 10 hours of labor and about 10 minuted of pushing, WOW! I know for some that would be long, for me it felt like a blink. My Mother got to cut the cord, Jared had no desire. My sister, Marni was there taking pictures and Erika and my MIL were there basking in the joy along with me. Jared announced our son's name, Zandon Abraham. He weighed in at 8 lbs 1 oz and 20 inches long. It was a blissful moment.

Post labor was actually more painful and uncomfortable than all of labor and pushing. I got the shakes really bad for over an hour, I think I had about 8 warm blankets and my heating pad on me. I hemorrhaged more than double the "normal" amount of blood. Those nurses and my midwife mashed on my belly so much it's still hard to think about (talk about torture). I had to get a shot in the leg to stop the bleeding and my midwife thought I could have ripped my cervix (didn't know that could happen) or that something was left behind in my uterus. So up she went with all sorts of tools to where no instruments should ever be. After about what felt like a life time nothing was found and by the end of the search the bleeding had stopped. I had to be monitored for the next couple of hours and didn't sleep until 6 am. Zandon was NOT a good eater for the first 5 days or so. Each feeding took anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes just to get him to latch, heaven forbid he unlatch and we have to start over again! But luckily for both of us he has figured it out.

The Grandmothers

Aunt Erika

I didn't get one pic of Marni so here is Uncle Paul (Marni's husband) he came in not long after delivery, during the shakes. I hope he isn't scarred about having children!

 The details are already foggy in my mind but I don't think I could have picked a better labor and delivery (aside from post delivery). If you couldn't tell, I love birth stories, that's probably why this has turned into a novel but I want to try to remember the details. Mom, Erika, Marni, if you remember any good details I forgot please leave a comment.

Different Kind of Nesting

Last time I was pregnant I did this. And this time around I HAD to create an entertainment center and I wanted to "antique" it. Don't ask me why, I have no idea. All I know is I nest in strange ways.

Here is the plain ol' veneer book case.

 Sanded.

 Primed (with Zinni in a Santa hat for some reason).

 Blue (Robin's egg) is the color I chose.

 The antiquing didn't turn out as I'd hoped but it'll do.

 The finished product.

Every piece was purchased on KSL and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. I really like the dark wood side pieces with the "pop" blue in the middle. 

The other side of nesting, the deep cleaning and such may be surfacing a little. We'll see.

House guests

Our little family spent nearly two months in the Bay Area. Jared worked and Zinni and I got to play, dance, sing, run errands, read books, make dinners, have park days, and discovery museum adventures with Aunt Meghan and her three little girls!

It didn't take Zinni long to find things to get into...literally.

Zinni loved this photo collage on my sister's wall and would always point out everyone on it.

Zinni and Zoe became best of friends! We like to call them "ZZ terrible" because they had a knack for getting into anything messy or destructive. There was a day where they had been altogether too quiet for a little too long. We found them in the process of burying the entire hallway in about 3 feet of anything they could find; blankets, clothing (clean and dirty), toys, bath things, baskets, everything! But they got along so well, especially when it was just the two of them. Here is Zinni trying to put Zoe's shoe back on.

We went on several trips to the Children's museum and Zinni LOVED it! She would have stayed, particularly in the water area, all day if I let her.

Just another day at home in dress-ups.

Reese was taking care of her "babies."

What a fun trip this was. To be a part of my sister's life for a little while was new and enlightening. It was fun to see Zinni with these cousin's that she doesn't get to see as often. It was nice to spend time being educated by my brother-in-law on cinematic adventures, he is quite versatile (but no troll movies ever again, Mark!). To see my sister manage being a full time mother, photographer, and friend was humbling. Thank you MacAskills for your hospitality and fun times! But be warned, we may take you up on your hospitality again sometime. :)

Extra detail

Just thought I'd mention a little tid-bit: It's a BOY!!
We are so excited and I'm still a little shocked! I had just convinced myself it was a girl. My family does not have boys, so I had accepted it was a girl.
Jared of course is ecstatic and tells everyone he talks to! I am 20 weeks and this pregnancy is throwing me for a loop! Zinni gives her "baby broder" kisses all the time and is going to be a great big sister!

My Little Sunshine

This is how I got through the last few months: My little ball of sunshine. Every time she smiled at me I knew every pain and unpleasantry was worth it. I love her so very much! All of these pics are from my phone so they aren't great quality but I don't know where my camera is so they will have to do.

Hangin' out in her little "jungle gym."
Zinni all dressed up in Marmee's performing accessories.

This girl loves to color!

A day where Daddy half dressed our daughter and she loved it!

Smiley girl with stickers!

This little cutie is getting more hair, more attitude, and smarter as the days go by! Zinni is really starting to speak in short sentences, she has always been a chatter box but we're understanding more of what she says. She loves to say "no" and "mine" with attitude. She loves books and her baby (doll) and will entertain herself for hours throughout the day. She loves nap time and bed time. She likes to talk to Daddy and Marmee & Papi on the phone. She always ask where is Grandpa and Erika. She is FUNNY! And this girl gives lots of hugs and kisses all day!

We love her so very much and wouldn't want to imagine life without her!

More than morning sickness

I have gone back and forth several times about writing this post. Mostly I debated because I do not want to seem ungrateful, unhappy, or dramatic. I have decided, however, that it is more important to get the word out about a disease called Hyperemesis Gravidarum or HG. HG is what I have suffered with over the past 3 months and I know I am not the only woman out there with this problem, in fact I can think of a handful of women in my own life that I would classify as having HG.

My sad little story (an overview):
-Two trips to the ER (shout out to my friend Liz who kept me company, thank you!) and one to the instacare.
-Not keeping any food or fluids down for 24 hours on a regular basis (longer than 24 hours and that's when I'd head to the ER).
-Infusion clinic appointments of saline, vitamins, and Zofran.
-Natural remedies I've tried: Ginger (pills, tea, suckers, ginger-ale, fresh), red raspberry leaf tea, peppermint tea, pregnancy tea, vitamin B12, B6, B complex, saltines, sipping sprite, cola syrup, "many small meals a day", protein drinks (homemade and store bought).
- Things I've thrown up? All of the above.
-Drugs I've tried: Regular Zofran, dissolving Zofran, IV Zofran, Phenergan, Reglan, and one other I can't recall it's name.
- Things I've thrown up? All of the above.
- Lost a total of around 16 lbs (discovered that after a typical infusion I would gain 5 lbs!)
- Lost a lot of muscle and energy from not getting out of bed for days on end.

It basically feels like you have the stomach flu or food poisoning day in and day out for 12+ weeks. In fact, I was just starting to feel slightly better when I caught a stomach bug and it was very much the same. Practically my whole family caught this bug and said they felt new sympathy for me, they were all recovered however after 24 hours.

I feel like there is so much more to this condition than just the sickness itself. You worry everyday about the health and development of your growing baby. "Are they getting the nutrients they need to grow and develop properly? By not being able to keep down your prenatal vitamins, fluids, and basic food are you harming them? Are they hungry too? Is their little heart still pounding?" Then there is the heartache and stress of not being able to care for your own already born child. Basic needs like preparing food and changing a diaper are nearly impossible. Your husband has to work all day and then doesn't get to relax for a moment because there are just way to many needs to be met by your child, your incapable wife, and your own growling stomach from a hard days work, forget about getting any kind of affection from your wife because even getting too close to her will make her vomit.

I don't wish to be all doom and gloom but this is the reality of HG. It is a very hard thing to suffer through, so why try to sugar-coat it? There is a lot of depression and worry involved on top of the misery and sickness that is HG. There aren't many, if any, things that ease the nausea and vomiting. I hope there will be more break-throughs on anything that will help this condition. Is it worth it? Yes. Of course! But that doesn't make it any easier.

Lastly I want to thank all the people that have helped me through the sludge- My dear sweet sister-in-law, Erika, who was at my house nearly everyday, from morning til evening. She made dinner for our family (which included a ravenous husband, a ravenous Zinni, and a picky grandpa, herself, her own son, and husband). She took care of Zinni. Changed her diapers, fed her, put her down for naps, read to her, and nurtured many of her "boo-boos." Zinni was mostly entertained by being with her cousin and bestest friend, Stephen IV (Erika's son). Erika got food and drink for me and kept me company to which I am very grateful for.

My Mom who "babysat" Zinni and I for many days. She would come up to my house, pick up Zinni and I and whisk us down to my parent's house to give Erika and Jared a break, and to provide me with a change of scenery and Motherly love. I never felt like a burden there, Zinni was always having fun, had a captive audience, and of course, got to see "kitty-kitty." Both of my parents and brothers helped us and never made me feel like I couldn't ask for whatever I needed.

Jared, oh my kind, patient, understanding Jared. He has been my rock. Has NEVER complained about serving me and picking up the slack. He and Zinni have bonded and become so much closer than they have ever been before. Zinni is completely content to go to either of us for comfort, and Erika is a close second. Jared has ran to the store at odd hours for odd things, taken me to the ER, Dr's appts, infusions clinics, cleaned out my throw-up bowl on numerous occasions, and has done everything that could be done for a sicky wife in need. Just yesterday he told me how happy he was that I was feeling better, I thought it was because I can actually get my own food now and change Zin's diapers, but he told me that it was just so hard for him to hear me throw up, watch me lose weight, and there was nothing he could do about it. I love that man.

I'm sure I haven't conveyed all the aspects of this disease and the misery that is ever present with it but I'll quote another person when I say "you don't "get" HG unless you get HG." To put it frankly, it's Hell. If anyone reading this knows someone with HG, or you suspect they have it, help them. Call them. Drop by and say hello (be prepared to see a disastrous house, an unshowered woman, and probably a haggard husband). Bring the family dinner. Ask this sick pregnant women what you can do.

I am now 17 weeks and am finally only throwing up in the morning, eating a variety of foods (although still not that wide a variety) and can stand up straight! Although I do intend on having more children the idea is banned from my thoughts for now.